You need to increase your self-esteem and gain more confidence in yourself. There is a branch of psychology, which is called evolutionary psychology, it has always interested me because it studies the human in a very interesting way; explaining that life is like an endless spiral, and that to move from one cycle to another, there must be a “crisis”, a deep questioning, who am I? Where do I want to go? How much is it? It happens, that this constant evolving sometimes means that we lose the notion of what we are worth, that the perception of ourselves is confusing, or that our value picture we question, and that what we are sure of, as we mature, It is transformed until we get to times that we lose confidence in ourselves.
You need to increase your self-esteem and gain more confidence in yourself
I want to touch this important topic for you with a holistic approach, considering several areas of your Being, you have surely heard about the correlation between Body-Mind-Spirit-Soul; my interest is that you see yourself as part of a whole, and that is to understand your value you must study very deeply in each of the roles you have in your life; to later self-describe you in each of them, it is as if we made a “position profile” of the roles you play or want to play; understand what are the expectations that others have, that you have imposed yourself based on previous experiences, beliefs and / or what they said socially is acceptable, analyze what concepts the society manages where you develop as “value” indices; Recognize your strengths, your weaknesses and understand the way you express what you feel and think of others.
Let’s start from the general to the particular so that you can understand what you should focus on in order to increase your confidence in yourself and therefore increase your self-esteem. Take your time to reflect.
Imagine that your existence is a temporary passage through the history of the world and at the same time your existence is permanent in the history of others, you are one more piece of the puzzle. Think what you are worth to your father or mother, maybe you have a bad relationship or do not even know them, maybe you have children or not, my intention is that you focus on what you value for others, how you want to transcend this life, I want you to focus on yourself, on the times that you have felt satisfied with yourself, that you have established that internal self-talk and you have spoken with love, congratulating yourself on something you have achieved, or you have recognized how good you are for something. This is how you can understand the many roles that you play in society, and you are probably not the star student, but maybe you are a very good neighbor, and you are the best brother, but you are not the worker of the month, etc. The idea is that you understand that your vouchers in different ways depending on what role you play, so do not self-demand more and forgive yourself for the failures that you have surely committed, nor do you feel that your “everything” is a disaster, remember you are just one more piece of this complex puzzle that is the universe.
Now think about your faults, so you feel less than others, or you do not feel “enough”, which generates mistrust in yourself. If you can write it to analyze each of them from another perspective, and is that there are social values such as beauty, intelligence, motor skills, etc. that depends how the ‘midas’ will be different, in a society being blond is synonymous with beauty while in another being brunette is very attractive, in a society know how to socialize, being nice and good conservative is equal to being intelligent, while in another being very good in mathematics, etc., everything depends on the angle you observe it, so stop having a totalitarian thought towards what you think you are worth, not everything is white or black, remember these in constant evolution, what you see about yourself now It is not permanent, you are a rainbow of strengths and weaknesses as we all are.
Since you analyzed yourself as part of a whole, from the outside in, as an individual in this complex society that dictates what is right or wrong, beautiful or ugly, intelligent or not, normal or abnormal; it’s time you think from the inside out. This is the work that takes more time because it requires more of your attention, and that’s why my work as a coach is so supportive, because by means of questions I help you to generate self-knowledge, have an adequate assessment of yourself, take responsibility for sustain and strengthen your values, develop a dialogue with yourself that bases your existence and above all that you believe how much you are worth without being overbearing or lose empathy, compassion and kindness.